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How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?

For what it is worth…

Over a year ago I realized that I had fallen in love with a friend of mine. It just sort of happened on it’s own, I didn’t plan it, one day it hit me like “Wow, I didn’t see the ‘L’ word coming.” It’s easy for us to ‘like’ people in our lives but to love someone is more complicated than that.

You know, the kind of moments where you do something and wonder if that someone else would enjoy it as well. Or connecting on a crazy level because you understand what they heck they are going through. Yep, sounds odd for 2018 but it still happens people. We’re still out there!

So what do you do? You do the right thing, go for broke risk it all, risk looking foolish, risk loosing the friendship and you tell them exactly how you feel. Hey, tomorrow could be your last day and you don’t want any regrets, NONE!

I took that risk and and discovered the feeling was not mutual. Now I didn’t completely ruin the friendship but found that area where you say, “Ok, God, how do you turn this thing off?”

For a while I was embarrassed.

You see for three years I have been changing everything about me. It is on that process that is supposed to be all positive that I created something negative. For me to be happy, I developed a belief that love was a force to be avoided, that I had hurt long enough in my lifetime that the reason I felt great now was because I focused on a me that became incapable of love.

For seven days I have been overcome with the feeling I have avoided for several years now. It has been some of the hardest days of my life. That’s the thing about life, it will throw a wrench into your gears just to see if your paying attention.

Today, I realized that I have nothing to be embarrassed about. Yes, I’m in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same. Are they still my friend, YES THEY ARE!

You see, life is so short, tomorrow it could be over and who wants to die with a heart full of love? Love is a beautiful thing and if you feel it, for the love of Pete don’t hold it in! Someone may say no but enjoy the feeling of being in love, you know, that feeling when hearing their voice makes you tremble. That’s right this ‘old school’ guys is going ‘old school’ here.

The reality is, yes I am in love with a friend but I would rather love a friend then hate an enemy for the rest of my life!! Can I be a friend? Another way of asking that is “Do I want this person in my life?” Yes I do!

Someday someone is going to come along and do what I have failed to so and sweep them off their feet. But the test of any love for someone is wanting them to find love, even if it is not with you.

I’m likely in trouble once this is posted but that’s ok, because at this moment I have no regrets. Take today to live and love like there is no tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come!

The world could use more love!!

Never Easy

 

With today being Independence Day, I want to wish everyone a safe and memorable

Fourth of July! Thinking about independence I can’t help but go right to the choice we have every single day to begin our own revolutionary war withing ourselves for our own declaration of freedom from an old lifestyle, personality or habit that we no longer want to define us!

You no something, it’s hard! You bet it is! When I first began this blog back in 2008 (back when I was on Blogger) I was determined to make it a weekly blog about my trials and victories on the road to becoming a successful writer. I was super pumped and jumped right into it!

Now, ten years later, it’s hard. I find myself torn between Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, Instagram stories, YouTube videos, Medium content that I often become overwhelmed by working this all on my own. Regardless, my goal is to always share this crazy journey with you no matter what comes in front of me. Now it may not be every day or week (that must change for the week) I want you to know how much it means that you’ve been here for a decade!

There are days when I don’t feel up to writing, posting or tweeting, no one ever said it was easy, that’s why so many don’t have goals! Yet I feel that I am only a short time form the success of impacting others and have no doubt in the world that this journey is all worth the effort!

I have been gaining great reviews from those who have read my latest self-improvement/motivational book: WHEN THE STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN and am super pumped to have this book in the hands of those who want to take their lives to the next level! I should have some of the first interior proofs in a few days and can’t wait to see what they look like!

With the success of my second 5K, I have kept with my routine of running the entire distance of my lake coarse near me and want you to know that when something is telling you that you can’t do it, your most times pretty close to making it a happen so don’t listen to that voice of negativity and go with your heart!

For now, Happy 4th and make memories!

First Call

This evening I jumped on the first call with Jennifer Deese who is laying out my upcoming self-improvement book: WHEN THE STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN, due out in September!

We discussed the acknowledgement page, author bio page, possible photos inside, steps for the cover attachment and shot around ideas for the format and flow if the material itself. We should be seeing the first sets of PDF proofs within two weeks and I am pumped!

I have given Jennifer free reign to allow her creative professionalism to run crazy while she has vowed to connect with me often as we bounce ideas and positives as well as negatives to hammer out a beautiful package that will impact lives around the world!

Stay tuned as we close in on September and WHEN THE STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN drops for readers everywhere!!WIN_20180621_20_00_18_Pro

First Meeting!

 

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So with tomorrow (Wednesday) approaching, I am super excited to be climbing on my first call with my interior designer for my new book, WHEN THE STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN. Mrs. Jennifer Deese did an amazing job on my friend, Dr. Coyte G. Cooper’s bestselling, MAKE YOUR MARK and I could not be any more pumped to watch as she works her extraordinary magic on my book which has a release date set for Sept. 1st!

I admit I have no idea what we will cover in our first call but I am positive that it will be nothing less than epic talking points that will help move the needle of this earth! I will be back on tomorrow to let you know exactly how our call shapes up. Until then, have a great middle of the week and make your dreams happen!

 

Make A ‘Run’ For It!!

So here is the story…

For over a year and a half, I have been running around a lake (suburbanites will call it a pond) in effort to improve my health, lose weight and work towards a goal of competing in a 5K. I remember the first time I ran (more like walked) it for the first time. I huffed and puffed and while I didn’t blow any house in, I almost did myself in!

 

Over time, things began to change. I began to walk faster, building up steam and soon began to run sections of the lake. Earlier this year, I extended the distances I ran considerably and felt the pain for pushing myself further than ‘normal’. For several months, I pushed through this resistance and found myself getting stronger and more durable.

With this durability, I ran my first 5K this past Spring and had passed yet another milestone that I set for myself. I also had the blessing of doing this with my oldest son, Lynden, which made the icing on my cake!

With my first 5K complete, I continued to run and growth myself. It was always my goal to get my physical stamina to the level that one day I would be able to run, not just parts of the lake, but ALL OF IT!!!

Well…..

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Last Wednesday was upon me and I was gearing up for my second 5K. I drove out to Red Hill State Park and began my distance walk to warm up before my run. I took off like normal, planning nothing out the ordinary. But as I came to the point on my coarse that I would stop and walk, something impacted me to push forward! I just kept going!!!

I reached the top of the first steep incline and it was here that my mind began working to make me stop. It began saying things like, “You can’t run all of this!” “Your not strong enough!” I began to see images in my head of catching my breath, walking and pushing myself too hard. I even, for one second began to slow down to stop.

Then I thought of running the entire lake and how great it would feel to reach my car after I was finished! I saw how good it would feel and that was all I needed to keep going. You know what? My mind began saying things like, “Well, you can go halfway but that’s all you can handle!” Would you believe me when I tell you that I blew right past the halfway marker and just kept going? Because that is exactly what I did!

Before I knew it, I realized that I was feeling overworked, I was feeling inspired. The truth is, I realized that I was enjoying this and while my body felt the resistance, it felt NO pain! Now I was back to the first steep incline and coming down it with joy. I continued across the straightaway that covered the damn and it was here that my mind made one last ditch effort to stop me, saying I had gone far enough to be happy. Ha! Far from it!

Then I saw my SUV, BOOM, I was driving to the finish (no pun intended)! I reached my car and the moment I touched the fender I jumped for joy with excitement. The reward felt just like I imaged it would and I notched off a achievement months before I thought I could have done it, proving we all have more inside us then we realize and it is only upon pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone that we actually discover what we are made of.

Now two days later, I was at the lake again. A day before my second 5K, I thought of an old saying that says, “You did it once, not let’s see you do it again!” Challenge excepted! I not only ran the entire lake again but in a minute faster than two days earlier! I was ready for this 5K!

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The following day Lynden and I woke up and drove down to Mt. Carmel, Illinois. We parked just down the street from the library where the race began and signed in. We pinned our numbers and awaited the time to begin. Soon we lined up and as the shot fired, our second 5K was underway!

With the first 5K I walked a short distance twice so I could catch my breath and came in ahead of my son. This time we both improved as I ran the entire coarse and Lynden finished two minutes ahead of me! That’s growth and improvement in its truest form!

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I could not be more excited with this achievement and want you to know that there is no difference between my possibilities and yours! Get out there today and make a run for it! You’ll be glad you did!

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One Of The Greatest Moments!!!!

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So there is this wonderful lake a couple of miles from my house, Red Hills Lake inside Red Hills State Park. This lake is almost two miles around and I navigate this lake three times a week and have done so since March of 2017.

When I first began I huffed and puffed, I mean I was really dying out there. I was over fifty pounds heavier and could only run in spurts and walked a lot of it. Then I built up my resistance to the point were I was running a could portion of it and began running this routine every time.

I often run with my oldest son, Lynden and he mentioned to me once many months ago that one day I would be able to run the entire lake without stopping to walk. That became my long-term goal and one I looked to achieve before the end of 2018. What I did though was get comfortable, I got really good at running this distance and last night while running, realized I had run farther than I normally do and I allowed my mind to stop me and walk.

With my second 5K coming up in three days, I decided to run everyday until then to make sure I was giving my body all I could until then. So tonight I took off like normal, listening to the incredible Lisa Nichols on my cell and began my normal routine. Then came the moment to stop for my first walk, but I just kept going!

Then came the first steep incline which I always ran up but never from this long of a run before. Up it I went and kept going! Then when I almost reached the parks main entrance, my mind kicked in and almost stopped me. Visions of quitting entered my mind and my body began to respond almost stopping! Then I saw myself running the entire lake and feeling how great it would feel to do this. I kept going, thinking I could make it half way before stopping. I figured I would run halfway, the longest distance for me at the park and could be proud of myself. Yet, at the halfway point, I didn’t want to just be proud of myself, I wanted the vision! So at halfway, I KEPT GOING!

Before I knew it, I had navigated the valleys, steep grades and down hill jogs and was back at the first incline I had ran up. I came down the hill and began the long trek across the road that rested on top of the earthen dam. It was here that my mind made one last plea for me to stop, saying I had done so well that it was alright to stop and enjoy the moment. Tired, I kept going! My feet began to feel numb and my lower back was tingling some from the run but before I realized it, my car was in view and I was going full steam ahead. I reached my car, tagging the driver side taillight like I always do and jumped for joy. I RAN THE ENTIRE LAKE WITHOUT STOPPING!

I want to tell you that I had no plan to do this when I began but the reality was that it was within me all the time and it is withing you right now if your willing to push the marker and move the needle. My wish for you is that you will push as I did and reward yourself with a well earned victory. You’ve got this!! Hit me up if you need encouragement!

 

Ending The School Year With A Bang!

With the school year now to an end, I could not have had a better finish to the month of May than I did this year!

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I returned to St. Joseph Catholic School in Olney, Illinois and delivered every copy of Barney & Lexi: Lost In Lawrenceville to the students who did not get their’s at my presentation. We actually ran out, a first for me!!

I was surprised with a handmade card that looked just like the cover of Barney & Lexi and I always say this but it means the world to me, these gifts are priceless! I handed out the books to the students and fulfilled my promise. I always make a promise to myself before leaving a school that I keep my word, give value and inspire as many as possible. For the students of St. Joseph, I know I did just that!!

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I left Olney, Illinois and headed south for Mt. Carmel, Illinois where I was returning to one of my first schools! Formerly known as N.I.C.E, now known as Mt. Carmel Elementary School has so much character within its walls and still holds a dear place in my heart!

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The students packed in and away we went. I always feel incredible as I watch the kids laugh and excited over Barney & Lexi! They follow every word I say and at times become so silent you could hear a pin drop. I love the participation we share with one another and feel a great sense of pride in knowing that I help make a child’s life for creative by showing them that an adult does not have to settle for a boring life!

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I signed over thirty copies of B&L after the presentation and made the students day by making sure that every one of them got a bookmark regardless if they purchased a book. Sells are great and in the end we have to make income from our efforts but when you can give value to someone, you will always find things to come back around!

I said farewell to Mt.  Carmel Middle School and was asked to return for a third year! Boom! I LOVE IT!! And so I end an extraordinary school year schedule, pushing my comfort zone and impacting lives! If I died right now, I would die knowing I was making a difference! Wishing you a great day ahead.       Levi 🙂

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