It has been some time since I could sincerely sit down in my office and feel good about what was, or wasn’t (for that matter) coming out of it. When the time came to force myself to stop and not allow myself to limp along with a ill-fated belief that I could force myself to continue, all of the while, feeling myself break down at every turn in the road.
For many weeks now, I would come home from my work and not step one foot into my office. If I stepped inside, it would have been only a matter of time before I demanded that I get my nose back into my work and everything would all but be for nothing.
In the past weeks, I have asked myself a single, solitary question I have never asked myself before. That question, “Do I still consider myself a writer and do I only forcing myself to carry on?” Many times I asked the man in the mirror and many times, he did not answer. But as time has gone on, I find myself everyday, thinking of new ideas and possibilities for characters while I am doing something as polar opposite as putting new screen into a screen door at my work.
Allowing myself to the uncertainty of not finding an answer for some time has been the best gift that I could give myself! I have no doubt the I have always been creative and been able to make magic from nothing. I love writing a part of a story and not knowing for sure at some points what will hit the page next! I am a writer, I am a broke writer, but a writer none the less!
Although The Boondock Kids should be finished by now, I take comfort in knowing that what is written now is true to my idea and not something I will regret down the line. Mario, Louis, Sindy and Cristena are like my children and I am always grateful to have such a strong relationship with them!
Today I began working on foam boarding photos of my journey to creating my picture books. I will make a presentation to the Lawrence County Historical Society towards the end of October and hope to make a good showing for many good folks. Tonight, my wife has helped with some wonderful ideas with visual aids that go far beyond my use of a Sharpie. It is great to have her suggestions and creative flow to help make this great!
With that said, I realize it is bedtime and my work for the night is complete. I look to tomorrow with a sense of hope and drive. Live With Passion!