This morning, I opened my eyes and knew that it was not going to be a good one. I woke, yet again, to the dizzy, sick to my stomach that makes me so sick, I can not even get up and out of bed, which I do not like in the least bit. I always lay in bed and hope that I can work off the weakness and jump out of bed and get my day started like I used to when I ran and rode my bike. Instead, I found myself telling my boss that I was sick again and would not be to work. I know my goal in life is to write and not always work for someone else, but when the fact remains that my paycheck job is very important and my work ethic wants to be there, earning my keep, it makes me feel less productive in this world.
Now I have a boss who always says ‘ok’, partly because everyone knows what is going on and being a small business, everyone is always there for everyone else. A rarity anymore that only makes me worry more when I am sick and not there. Yet, tomorrow will come and feeling better again, I will be there and give my time to helping others and putting my day in.
I went back to sleep until 2:30 in the afternoon and laid in my bed for another 30 minutes before the condition passed finally and I was able to go downstairs. I wonder why I can sleep eight hours at night and wake up like this? I did feel sluggish towards the end of my work day but doesn’t most everyone? I admit that I was up a lot, worrying about finances and how to take care of my family right now and that seems to trigger the dizziness and fatigue. Since I went to the ER some time ago, this scenario happens when my body feels overwhelmed with stress, almost like it has now had enough and shuts down until it decides it is ready to go again.
It did go again and I now find myself back at the laptop again for several hours now and am working on my layout for my Spring Volume of picture books. It has become a page-by-page storyboarding adventure, with placement and wording going down with excitement! Seeing these pictures again is giving me a lot of wonderful memories to fall back into and enjoy my trip through Lawrence County, Illinois.
Our internet is not being a good player tonight though! It has decided not to allow me to upload pictures at a steady pace, but rather, one photo every five to ten minutes. It has been a couple of hours and I am only onto the 15th picture out of 120! I know that I will be in a very good crowd when I ask, “Do you ever feel like everything is against you?”
Still, my wife is beginning another positive step in her life and is laying out new goals for herself and plotting a coarse for success with her own venture: Fox Notions. It is inspiring, in a way, to both be working towards dreams and fighting the bad of this world, one step at a time together.
The truth is that, no matter how hard it may be to get up on some morning, how slow the internet may get, how broke I may be or how far off success may, or may not be, I refuse to quite and one day, will look back on the struggles of life and remember that, in the end, it was worth it!!
Until tomorrow night, I wish you a wonderful Wednesday!
Live With Passion!!